dead
I was dead
at
that moment you were pinning me down
hand in hand
palm to palm
were you watching me intensely
behind those lashes
I am powerless against

dying
falling asleep
entangled in each other's arms
naked in your warm sheets
winter
waking up
still there

I remember so vividly
laughing
joking
being weird
but never awkward
in between the fucking
laughing, comfort
knowing
feeling like we've known each other for a while
it felt like
it was so natural
and effortless
to be there
dare I say
meant to be

UGH
you had me
you have me now
after that
hugging
holding me in place
as we waited for my bus
after we walked in the fields
after that doggy
and his owner greeted us
your charming small talk
ugh
my heart swelled

on a street corner
bundled up
me on the phone
you looking out for my bus
engulfed in that
heady, British scent of yours
it felt like
we've done it a hundred times
why must you feel so boyfriend-y
so intimate and familiar

I suppose I should've felt
sadder as I saw you from my window
and we drove away
but it felt
like a see you later
rather than
I will be halfway across the world
in less than 36 hours

I want to be with you

I am itching

Dying to be with you

Looking for you

Your similarities

Traces of you

In all the wrong people