Talking is Overrated

I wouldn't know where to start
it's been more than days
I don't know how to make conversation
would you even want me to?

Last time I checked,
we weren't okay.

Last time we fought,
I think that was on you.

It doesn't really matter
Who started it
who is to blame
doesn't really matter

as long as you 
want to fix it.
Do I want to fix it
(yes)
Do you want to fix it.
I don't know.

I would consider it 
a rejection
if we weren't on the same page.

I am afraid of rejection.

So let me just keep silent.
As we waste more time away.

Dear you

These are real tears.
Not the fake cry
I pulled on you
that night
I admitted I kissed my ex
(before seeing you)
I'm sorry for that

This is real blood in my mouth.
No, you didn't hit me.
I'm brushing my teeth so hard
I'm scrubbing my gums out.
I don't know if 
I'm trying to block out thoughts
if I just like the sound of the bristles
(comforting, normal. 
As opposed to everything being not when it concerns you)
or maybe I just like it
the taste of blood in my mouth

Like that time I bit your lip down
so hard
you bled.
Or that time we were making out like crazy
children. Juvenile.
I could taste blood on my tongue.

Blood and tears
crying while I'm on my period.