Dear you

These are real tears.
Not the fake cry
I pulled on you
that night
I admitted I kissed my ex
(before seeing you)
I'm sorry for that

This is real blood in my mouth.
No, you didn't hit me.
I'm brushing my teeth so hard
I'm scrubbing my gums out.
I don't know if 
I'm trying to block out thoughts
if I just like the sound of the bristles
(comforting, normal. 
As opposed to everything being not when it concerns you)
or maybe I just like it
the taste of blood in my mouth

Like that time I bit your lip down
so hard
you bled.
Or that time we were making out like crazy
children. Juvenile.
I could taste blood on my tongue.

Blood and tears
crying while I'm on my period.